Apples and Oranges

[MaestroDJS]

This Guy wrote: Mozart is way above Haydn.
That Guy wrote: Thems' fightin' words!
This Guy wrote: Oh yeah?
That Guy wrote: Yeah!
This Guy wrote: Oh yeah?
That Guy wrote: Yeah!
This Guy wrote: It's a dessert topping!
That Guy wrote: It's a floor polish!
This Guy wrote: Tastes great!
That Guy wrote: Less filling!
This Guy wrote: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
That Guy wrote: How much ground could a groundhog grind if a groundhog could grind ground?
Moderator wrote: Con-trov-ersy! Nothing like it to keep a board chugging along!

Yes, this forum is a hotbed of controversy, but we can all agree on one thing:

A Radio Show We Hope Will Never Happen

JH: Good morning, everyone. Welcome to The Joe & Wolfy Show on station WALTZ. I'm your host, Joe Haydn.
WM: And I'm your other host, Wolfy Mozart. Hey, I looked for you yesterday. Why can't I ever find you?
JH: That's because I'm always Haydn. Incidentally, this morning our show is sponsored by Porridge Pasticcio, the breakfast food that makes you wish it were lunchtime.
WM: The very thought makes me want to stay in bed. Anyway, we have a swell show this morning. Right, Joe?
JH: That's right, Wolfy. We'll start with some of my foot-stompin' minuets. That should wake up everyone.
WM: What a surprise. Then I'll tickle the ivories in one of my awesome piano concerti. Great stuff, eh?
JH: Nothing but the best. Did you hear that one of our less scrupulous competitors landed in big trouble?
WM: Yes, indeed. Our nemesis Ricky Wagner over at station KROON got some bad citations by the broadcasting board. It seems he started to play commercials during the pauses between phrases in the Bruckner symphonies.
JH: And just last month he presented his stupid music dramas about washing machines, The Rinse Cycle.
WM: I had always wondered who wrote the first soap operas. Now, we should mention our special musical guest for this morning, none other than Luggage Van Beethoven.
JH: You mean Rubbish Can Beethoven. We can call him anything we want because he's as deaf as a music critic.
WM: Welcome to the show, Ludwig. If you're German, how come you have a Dutch surname?
LB: What?
JH: Har de har har! This Beethoven guy is a laugh a minute. We'll have more side-splitting guffaws later in the show. Maybe we should look at the news, Wolfy.
WM: Righto, Joe. The Emperor has formed an elite squad of etiquette police to patrol concerts and operas here in Vienna. They will eject or arrest members of the audience who cough or snore too much during the music.
JH: It's about time. What about people who just won't shut up, or people with really bad breath?
WM: They are punishable by 10 years in prison, or hearing The Four Seasons by Vivaldi 500 times nonstop.
JH: Here's an item about a church musician looking for an organ donor. The waiting list for new organs is long, so the church would also accept a steam calliope.
WM: Now the weather. Locally we expect outbursts of atonal cacophony near the Second Viennese School.
JH: In France, Hector Berlioz has a Royal Hunt and Storm, while Claude Debussy reports The Snow is Dancing. Between Germany and England, Felix Mendelssohn predicts Calm Sea and Prosperous Voyage.
WM: Finally, in the new United States of America, Ferde Grofé has a Cloudburst in The Grand Canyon Suite.

Dave

David Stybr, Engineer and Composer: It's Left Brain vs. Right Brain: best 2 falls out of 3
http://members.SibeliusMusic.com/Stybr
String Quintet No. 2 in B Minor (complete) (20:00)
http://www.SibeliusMusic.com/cgi-bin/sh ... reid=53172
I. Variation-Sonata (5:00); II. Andante cantabile (5:00); III. Intermezzo and Anthem (5:00); IV. Finale: Allegro con brio (5:00)

Personal Assistant and Der Webmeister to author Denise Swanson
http://www.DeniseSwanson.com
Murder of a Smart Cookie
Penguin Putnam ~ Signet, New York, NY

[Huckleberry]

Excellent, Dave!!!

May I suggest an alternative radio show entitled

Die Meisterstyber und D. Swansong?

[Jack Kelso]

FRANCKly, I don't give ADAM. We punners have our BAX to the WALTON.

I'll HANDEL it the best I can. You can't TELEMANN such puns without SINDING MOORE than enough humor that can BERLIOZ out of a tube.

Gotta GOUNOD....

Jack

[MaestroDJS]

Excellent, Dave!!!

May I suggest an alternative radio show entitled

Die Meisterstyber und D. Swansong?

That's a jolly good idea. I'm very flattered indeed. One correction, however:

My Czech family name is spelled (or spelt) Stybr, because my ancestors emigrated from Prague to Chicago in the 1880s during a severe vowel shortage. Thus my preference for consonant music.

Dave

PS.

Gotta GOUNOD....

I might suggest the existentialist play Waiting for Gounod by Samuet BACHett but as Leonard Gertrudestein might say, "there is no there, there."

[jbuck919]

gotta GOUNOD....

Jack

I presume to use the Debussy, otherwise known as the John Cage.

Didn't know I had it in me to pun Bach to Bach, did you?

[Huckleberry]

gotta GOUNOD....

Jack

I presume to use the Debussy, otherwise known as the John Cage.

Didn't know I had it in me to pun Bach to Bach, did you?

Some say WaterCloset, and others, WaterLoo.

[Huckleberry]

And hey, did I tell you about my Ravels during my last Faure into a Debussy? Well, I Satie on the ...

[Werner]

Dave: I never paid attention to your national origin - perhaps I should have.

Now I wonder about your stature - are you a big fellow or can you be hidden where one can cache a small Czech?

[Huckleberry]

Excellent, Dave!!!

May I suggest an alternative radio show entitled

Die Meisterstyber und D. Swansong?

That's a jolly good idea. I'm very flattered indeed. One correction, however:

My Czech family name is spelled (or spelt) Stybr, because my ancestors emigrated from Prague to Chicago in the 1880s during a severe vowel shortage. Thus my preference for consonant music.



I should have gone the whole schwein and called your duo:

Die Meistersteiber und das Schwanenlied.

[Gary]

Darn, so many great ones! My plan to create the best pun has been Stybried.

[MaestroDJS]

Die Meistersteiber und das Schwanenlied.

Schön! Thank you especially for foregoing the cached Czech jokes, which I have Prague-ably heard a hundred zillion times.

One more teeny tiny correction though: Die Meisterstybr is both general plural and feminine singular, whereas Der Meisterstybr is masculine singular. Those German language cases cause basket cases! Similarly, after a full day conjugating verbs, someone asked me to continue with nouns, but I declined.

[Huckleberry]

Similarly, after a full day conjugating verbs, someone asked me to continue with nouns, but I declined.

In English-speaking countries we barely decline (except morally, of course). In Georgia they decline ergatively.

[RebLem]

Excellent, Dave!!!

May I suggest an alternative radio show entitled

Die Meisterstyber und D. Swansong?

That's a jolly good idea. I'm very flattered indeed. One correction, however:

My Czech family name is spelled (or spelt) Stybr, because my ancestors emigrated from Prague to Chicago in the 1880s during a severe vowel shortage. Thus my preference for consonant music.



I should have gone the whole schwein and called your duo:

Die Meistersteiber und das Schwanenlied.

Spelt is a grain. Found this is www.spelt.com

Spelt- What is it?
Spelt makes a comeback. The best new grain has a long history.
Sometimes the original ideas are still the best. The wheel hasn't changed much in thousands of years, and tasty and nutritious spelt, one of the first grains to be grown by early farmers as long ago as 5,000 BC., is finding renewed popularity with American consumers.

Spelt's "nutty" flavor has long been popular in Europe, where it is also known as "Farro" (Italy) and "Dinkle" (Germany). In Roman times it was "Farrum", and origins can be traced back early Mesopotamia. Spelt (Triticum spelta) is a ancient and distant cousin to modern wheat (Triticum aestivum). Spelt is one of the oldest of cultivated grains, preceded only by Emmer and Elkorn.

But it's not just good taste that has caught the attention of consumers on this side of the Atlantic. The grain is naturally high in fiber, and contain significantly more protein than wheat. Spelt is also higher in B complex vitamins, and both simple and complex carbohydrates. Another important benefit is that some gluten-sensitive people have been able to include spelt-based foods in their diets.

Some 800 years ago Hildegard von Bingen, (St.Hildegard) wrote about spelt: "The spelt is the best of grains. It is rich and nourishing and milder than other grain. It produces a strong body and healthy blood to those who eat it and it makes the spirit of man light and cheerful. If someone is ill boil some spelt, mix it with egg and this will heal him like a fine ointment."

What brought the decline in production of spelt in North America is now thought of as a benefit. Spelt has a tough hull, or husk, that makes it more difficult to process than modern wheat varieties. However, the husk, separated just before milling, not only protects the kernel, but helps retain nutrients and maintain freshness. Modern wheat has changed dramatically over the decades as it has been bred to be easier to grow and harvest, to increase yield, and to have a high gluten content for the production of high-volume commercial baked goods. Unlike wheat, spelt has retained many of its original traits and remains highly nutritious and full of flavor.

Also, unlike other grains, spelt's husk protects it from pollutants and insects and usually allows growers to avoid using pesticides.

Since its reintroduction to the market in 1987 by Purity Foods Inc., spelt has become a top-selling product in the organic and health food markets. Flour made from the versatile grain can be substituted for wheat flour in breads, pasta, cookies, crackers, cakes, muffins, pancakes and waffles.

Modern cooks are rediscovering the full flavor of whole grain spelt pastas and breads, the more subtle flavor and texture of white pastas and flours as well as spelt kernels in their dishes.

So if you're looking for a new idea that's been tested by the ages, learn more about spelt by visiting the Purity Food Inc. web site at http://www.purityfoods.com.

[MaestroDJS]

Spelt is a grain.

"Spelt is a grain," Tom Swift stated huskily.

Some 800 years ago Hildegard von Bingen, (St.Hildegard) wrote about spelt: "The spelt is the best of grains. It is rich and nourishing and milder than other grain. It produces a strong body and healthy blood to those who eat it and it makes the spirit of man light and cheerful. If someone is ill boil some spelt, mix it with egg and this will heal him like a fine ointment."

Given the musical nature of this forum, Hildegard von Bingen can attest that grain is the staff of life.

[Huckleberry]

Spelt is a grain.

"Spelt is a grain," Tom Swift stated huskily.

Some 800 years ago Hildegard von Bingen, (St.Hildegard) wrote about spelt: "The spelt is the best of grains. It is rich and nourishing and milder than other grain. It produces a strong body and healthy blood to those who eat it and it makes the spirit of man light and cheerful. If someone is ill boil some spelt, mix it with egg and this will heal him like a fine ointment."

Given the musical nature of this forum, Hildegard von Bingen can attest that grain is the staff of life.

Only if one separates the beat from the staff. Or the terreble from the base.

Speaking about grain, let me say: Fiber, shmiber, stybr - it's all the same to me.
(Hope that commercial played outside Canada!!!)