10 Commandments for the Enjoyment of Music

[Jack Kelso]

CAUTION: Do not read the following if you are thin-eared or cannot chuckle when listening to Mozart's "Ein Musikalischer Spaß" or Jacques Ibert's "Divertissement".

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR POLITICALLY ADEPT ENJOYMENT OF MUSIC AFTER BEETHOVEN:

1. Thou shalt not have any other tone gods after Beethoven (a.B.).

2. Thou shalt turn up thy nose at any operatic works from France and Italy.

3. Thou shalt dance alone to Liszt, Smetana and Dvorâk only in the confines of thy sitting-room with closed shutters.

4. Whilst enjoying Romantic chamber music, thou shalt imbibe "sostenuto" fine red wine in the manner of Mendelssohn or Chopin---rather than guzzling cheap beer "vivace" in the manner of Schubert, Schumann or Brahms.

5. Thou shalt disdain all 20th-century composers as degenerate.

6. Thou shalt vehemently prefer Brahms to Schumann.

7. Thou shalt be listening to Tschaikowsky without telling anyone.

8. Thou shalt passionately ignore Raff and other "lessers" as unworthy for thy aesthetic ears.

9. Thou shalt hear Wagner with a grain of salt from the Dead Sea.

10. Thou shalt avoid temptation of falling into trances whilst listening too intensely to Bruckner adagios.

Now, go ahead and turn on your stereo. But WATCH OUT! Your boss or your spouse, your best friend or even your mailman may be eavesdropping....

Jack

[moldyoldie]

7. Thou shalt be listening to Tschaikowsky without telling anyone.

What does one do when someone asks for a recommendation of a Tchaikovsky recording, deny knowing him three times?

[Jack Kelso]

7. Thou shalt be listening to Tschaikowsky without telling anyone.

What does one do when someone asks for a recommendation of a Tchaikovsky recording, deny knowing him three times?

Hmm....anything can be had for 30 pieces of silver....

Jack

[Brahms]

5. Thou shalt disdain all 20th-century composers as degenerate.

What about 21st-century composers? . . . . . .

[Jack Kelso]

5. Thou shalt disdain all 20th-century composers as degenerate.

What about 21st-century composers? . . . . . .

Sorry---I wrote that about eight years ago and never revised it. Have things changed sooo much...?!

Jack

[diegobueno]

I'd rather worship the golden calf.

[Ralph]

I'd rather worship the golden calf.

*****

I'd rather barbecue the golden calf.

[BWV 1080]

I'd rather worship the golden calf.

*****

I'd rather barbecue the golden calf.

Better leave the barbecuing to me, yankee

[Dalibor]

no.10 was a joke, right? "Falling in trance to Bruckners adagio" is no lesser achievement that falling asleep on the bed of needles

[BWV 1080]

no.10 was a joke, right? "n

Not if you interpet the word "trance" as a state of blissful slumber

[karlhenning]

no.10 was a joke, right?

Not No. 10 alone :-)

Cheers,
~Karl

[Opus132]

I wrote that about eight years ago and never revised it.

I can tell, a lot of these are no longer as radical as you think, and a couple of them are starting to become quite annoying. The belittling of the 'greats' (Bach, Beethoven, Brahms) or the exalting of minor talents is quite getting on my nerves. I think some of you people should lay down on the crack pipe already...

[Brendan]

4. Whilst enjoying Romantic chamber music, thou shalt imbibe "sostenuto" fine red wine in the manner of Mendelssohn or Chopin---rather than guzzling cheap beer "vivace" in the manner of Schubert, Schumann or Brahms.

How about sipping expensive beer, which is finer than most red wine? Wine is too "heavy" to sustain enjoyment - I prefer Chimay Triple Trappist beer aged a year or two or a Duval. Wine is mostly for meals, IMHO. Belgian beer and chamber music go together unbelievably well. Cognac works too.

[Jack Kelso]

I wrote that about eight years ago and never revised it.

I can tell, a lot of these are no longer as radical as you think, and a couple of them are starting to become quite annoying. The belittling of the 'greats' (Bach, Beethoven, Brahms) or the exalting of minor talents is quite getting on my nerves. I think some of you people should lay down on the crack pipe already...

Well, pardon my sense of humor, Opus 132. If you read it carefully you will see I wasn't trying to be "radical" (however you mean that).

Annoyances are good for you---they make you think and react. For instance, my reaction to Hans von Bülow's little jingle "The Three B's" is merely to chuckle.

Tschüß,
Jack

[Corlyss_D]

Annoyances are good for you---they make you think and react.

Isn't a pearl just an annoyance aged to perfection?

[Jack Kelso]

Annoyances are good for you---they make you think and react.

Isn't a pearl just an annoyance aged to perfection?

Say, I like that, Corlyss!

By the way, you were "fainting away" at my mention of "Acis and Galatea" with Sutherland. I assume you love that performance, too...?!

Jack

[Corlyss_D]

By the way, you were "fainting away" at my mention of "Acis and Galatea" with Sutherland. I assume you love that performance, too...?!

Alas, no. It was your description of a recording with Sutherland, Bonynge, and Pears as the "one of the finest operatic recordings of the entire baroque." The mere thought . . . Wait . . . I'm feeling faint again . . .

De gustibus, Jack.

[val]

At last a ten commandements list that I can follow.

I already started my way to sanctity: never heard a note of Raff, don't like most of french operas (in special Massenet), don't like much Tchaikovsky or Liszt.

And yes, yes, yes, Beethoven! You see, I am a already an atheist monotheist!

But I confess I am still a great sinner: I love to tears the Bruckner stuff, I love a great number of degenerate composers (yes, even those evil Stravinsky, Bartok and Schönberg), see no reason to qualify Brahms as superior to Schumann and sometimes, oh shame on me, I feel delighted when I hear Smetana's first Quartet or Dvorak 6th Symphony, and - beer apart - prefer Schubert and the others to Chopin and Mendelssohn.